Why is it so hard for gay men to have healthy monogamous relationships now and days?

I am gay, and over time I have realized that you dont see many gay relationships last more than a year. I mean now, to me when you hear of guys being together for more than 3 years, that would almost be the equivalent if two people were to spend a lifetime together. Why is that? Now and days, usually when I go on a date, usually the other person wants some pillow talk at the end of it, and thats just not something I want. What happened to just getting to know eachother and letting time work things out?Why is it so hard for gay men to have healthy monogamous relationships now and days?
In my opinion, it has always been more difficult for two men to stay together. For one, there are not the usual support systems in place to keep men together. This is largely due to living in a society that does not support long term gay relationships, either legally or socially.Why is it so hard for gay men to have healthy monogamous relationships now and days?
Stay true to yourself. I did. I was called stuck up by gays in my community. It bothered me but I stayed the course. I decided I wasn't just a piece of meat, I was a person and I deserve to be treated as such. It took awhile, the first BF didn't work out but it was an interesting summer. I chose to move on and that second year I met my guy. At first he scared the hell out of me. Such a big rugged guy could break me in half without so much as a by your leave, but he persisted. So we dated. I was 18 and he was older. He came to visit me in college, called, wrote, and by the time I was a sophmore we had an apartment. He worked , I went to school and worked, and we made it work together. 22 years later we are still going strong and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't think it has anything to do with 'now a days', I think it has been like this for a long time. I think it is because guys (str8 or gay) are way more horny then women and want lots of sex. So when you get two guys together that want sex, sex, sex it is difficult to to stop them. When one guy gets tired of sex with his present partner or when one of the partners is no longer really interested in sexual activities then the other moves on to find other sexual avenues. Usually when this happens one partner no longer wants to have anything to do with the other and they split up. Anyway those are just my thoughts on it all. *hugs* JAC%26lt;
i kind of agree with you in this one. i think most of them want nothing but fun. but in time you will find the one who want a relation rather than just fun. i think when the time is right or when they find the right partner then they tend to stay together for such long period of time. it's just a matter of when and who you were with. you'll find yours soon, don't worry, keep looking...!


i met so many boys before i found my ex. we were toghether for nearly 4 years. we didn't brake up because we didn't love each other anymore but because he is to jealous. but that's another story. i was with my first boyfriend for about 2 years.


anyway...if you keep looking then eventually you will find the one you've been looking for.


happy hunting...!
I think that guys think its cool to be a player, or if you are faithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend your a punk or a puss. My brother is gay and he is in a relationship with a good guy but he cheats. Maybe he is just too young to want to be stable. But dont feel bad, lesbians are the same way. Women want booty calls and not the real thing. Good luck on finding the right one for you. Dont settle!
I don't know..I've been married 20 years..my brother in law 39 years...most of my friends are in long term relationships...maybe you're looking in the wrong places.
I feel that men are more sexual than women. Also society puts a strain on relationships.
it's because everybody has such high expectations with their current partner and it really ruins the ';let's-get-to-know-each-other-and-find-o鈥?stage.





my problem is meeting a guy that likes me.
I agree with you completely.
It isn't for me.





You are generalizing too much buddy.





And what the heck 'now and days' means?


Could you mean 'nowaday' ?
i think you've just been meeting the wrong guys... i have a gay friend who has been happily together with his man for 17 years.. and they are totally in love and happy.





whether you are gay or not, relationships have to be about trust, communication, and compromise..





so many people jump right into things with a partner that has totally different wants, needs, goals, values, etc..





ummm, what exactly is pillow talk? never heard that before..





but yah, there are guys out here that want to take things slow and let love develop. just gotta keep looking..
Maybe you should learn to commit to monogamous relationships. Have some kind of ceremony to highlight that commitment. I know. You should be allowed to get married like the rest of us.
So many men....so little time!