Do you discuss past relationships with your bf/gf?

I've been with my guy for almost a year and most everything is awesome. The only thing I worry about is the fact that we haven't spoken a word about past relationships.





I never ask because I don't really want him to know about how promiscuous I've been in the past. At the same time I want to know about his exes, the type of relationships they were in and why they ended.





Is it weird that we are holding this back from each other?Do you discuss past relationships with your bf/gf?
I don't think it is necessary to share every detail, but knowing about someones past can really help you understand them better. For example, I know that my boyfriend had only one serious girlfriend prior to me, and when he revealed to me that she had cheated on him several times throughout their relationship while he was away at school and within the first week that she'd gone away to school, it helped me to understand why he was so apprehensive and insecure when I went away for my first year of university. Other things that we have both revealed, details on our previous relationships about the experiences we had, what we'd learned and how we'd changed from our past and how its helped us develop into who we are. It is a fact of life that your past shapes you in many different ways.





When he told me that he was only with her for so long after he found out she'd cheated on him so much because he was used to her, it helped me to understand another part of his personality, about how he just didn't know how to handle it. I think it has also helped him to work out some of his issues left over from that serious break up by talking to someone who he loved and felt completely invested in and trusted. I am sure that the revelations of my past have helped him understand more about me, and what to be sensitive to in our relationship as I now am towards him about certain thingsDo you discuss past relationships with your bf/gf?
Have you forgiven yourself for your past mistakes? If not, you need to resolve that issue on your own, or else it will haunt your relationship and hinder you from moving forward.





Your boyfriend sees you for who you are now. If he ever wants to know what occurred in the past, you can be honest without giving too much information. However, you need to be completely honest about any health risks you may be carrrying, such as STD's you currently have or have had before, so you don't put him in danger.





Why is it important for you to know what his former lovers were like? What might you possibly learn from this? His relationships probably ended for a variety of reasons - he wasn't right for those girls, they weren't right for him, the timing was bad, etc. Aren't you glad that they ended? I think it is unwise to press for answers to such questions unless you're talking about a previous marriage or a broken engagement.
Some guys don't like it. My current boyfriend didn't really like hearing about my exes. But before we even started dating we both talked about our past relationships. It was a pretty casual conversation and it wasn't awkward for either of us. But I think it has really helped us in the long run because we both know why we act the way we do in certain situations because of our past experiences. Plus, learning about his exes also helped me to know what he didn't want in a girlfriend.





If I were you and you want to know about it, I would bring it up. And if you have been with this guy for a year he obviously loves you and will understand that your past is your past, not your present or your future.
Yes I have talked about only my last relationship because it made me a wreck and I needed someone to talk to about it that would be on my side. I stopped talking about the past after a few months because I knew he wouldnt want me to go on and on about the past.


It is ok not to talk about the past. And if you DO talk about the past make it quick and unemotional.





As a woman only tell him you have slept with 4 other men MAX if he ever asks. Pick the ones you had the longest relationships to count as your 4. Men do not want to hear their GF or wife was with more than 4 men sexually. You can tell him how many BFs you had but only choose the top 4 as the ones you claim you had sex with.





It is not weird holding back. You need to look forward and not back. As long as he is over his ex and doesnt talk to them now then thats all you really need to know.
You write: Do you discuss past relationships with your bf/gf?





No. Absolutely not. Such discussions only cause trouble.





If your partner brings it up, say that you love him and are looking forward to a bright future with him. The past no longer matters.





As long as both of you are healthy . . . as in no STD's . . . then there is absolutely no need to discuss the past.
After only a year, no. I mean, since you've both been sexually active before I would hope that SOME information was shared, but the details aren't necessary.





My husband and I by now have glossed over all of our past relationships, but we've been together for so long now they hardly matter.
dont ask directly about the women, you could say hey have you ever gone roller skating on a date? or have you ever been embarrassed on a date? but nothing sexual, he might clam up.


then tell him some silly things you did, no intimate details.


men hate the 3'rd degree, so you have to take it slow.
The past is the past not the future right?


When the time is right you will both talk about it together.


if you are that Curious then ask him, sit down with him and talk.You both need to be open about it, and cant get mad at each other, again the past is the past.
It's not strange to want to keep personal things personal but I would say that if you see your relationship going further or want to know about his past exes then you should be just as willing to share with him should he ask.





Relationships are about trust and comunication.
I think I would keep the past in the past. The only thing that really would concern me is if either of you has any std's that could be passed on to each other. Both of you should be tested.
not weird at all! we've been together for two years and he HATES talking about his ex. and i asked and found out i really didn't want to know...





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NO!!! You should really try to avoid the conversation! It can drive a wedge between you two!





From experience this is a very UNCOMFORTABLE conversation!
id like to open up more about it but my boyfriend doest.... he always says why does that matter???? when we do it kinda leads to fights
The past is the past,so leave it behind.
kinda of just some ppl do talk about it some ppl dont
As soon as we both realised it was getting serious we had an ';ask me anything you like about previous boyfriends / girlfriends'; chat over a bottle of wine. I would also have been more than happy not to have known anything if he hadn't wanted to tell me, What's in the past can't be changed, so there's no point in getting upset over it, As long as he was prepared to make a future with me that was all I cared about.